There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
