OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
