my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I smell like Dick and happiness
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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