dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my vag is so smooth its legendary
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
