ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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