does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
