Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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