i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
me + whiskey = a bad person
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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