Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
