I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
