They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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