i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
