Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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