It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
