I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
