I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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