didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
