I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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