i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
