I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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