I'm drive I can fine osifer
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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