Your tits are I can't wait for
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
