Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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