No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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