He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
