had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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