Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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