wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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