I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
