Me too!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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