so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
