mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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