i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
