i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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