your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Come share oat with me in your robe
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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