you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my shit smells like andre
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
