I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
