We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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