Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
