This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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