After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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