They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
