she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
