So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
