Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
