I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
