We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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