He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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