If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
