we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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